Social Insanity

" I have realised that people who quickly or constantly judge, label, compare, analyse – have a self-acceptance issue, because they are insecure about their appearance/money/status/abilities/relationships. Thence, it has nothing to do with the ‘subject’ that is being judged, it is merely a coping mechanism to deal with their insecurity.  If they suffer from unstable self-esteem, they become jaded and jealousy/self-victimisation kicks in. Even better, if they are exploitative, they start planning how they can acquire the same thing they’re insecure about by using this interaction/individual. This is called a scarcity mindset, that being happy for others will lessen yours – a shit value, that life is one big gymnasium, you shove someone in a locker first or someone will shove you.  This is the peril of modern life i.e., living in your head all the time: the involuntary thought process that you realise have the power to stop. We should remind ourselves frequently, we only play...

Disclaimer (a standard placeholder in my posts now) : I swear this is not a sadistic post to demonise the most precious thing in life. So please don't hang me for the Disney/Rom-com fetishes, seriously this is a post to celebrate love – like the actual one which gives life meaning, worth living for and the one which is done without conditions and expectations.  Also, all the fallacies, patterns are gender neutral, they are completely interchangeable for men/women. I know despite different physiological constructs, both genders, bleed red, have two ears and eyes and more importantly are vain, self-centred, seek attention, addicted to admiration, self-serving, always dissatisfied with what they have and constantly obsess & idealise what they don’t have, look to manipulate and get manipulated for whatever they have surrender their self-worth to – as sadly they are both HUMANS and suffer from the shortcomings of being one!  P.S. Apologies in advance for free hand examp...

We all want to be the CEO, President, MVP, Entrepreneurs aka contemporary Socially affluent title of choice. I think we forget that we are the CEO of our own life - the summation of our limited existence, and shouldn't overly concern ourselves worry about becoming or not becoming CEO, famous, global, earth shaker etc etc too much. Because as humans we subconsciously link our self esteem to these things, meaning until the day that external subjective uncontrollable (ESU) THING happens, we will be not enough and consequently we will judge ourselves and be unhappy everyday. Despite enough data points and wisdom around us which confirms that the destination is never worth the time and strain it takes of this (external) journey. The journey is the dream because otherwise you go through life as a dead person to live that 3-5 weeks of high after accomplishing the subjective goal. Being human we know that we are complex, self serving, vain, seek validation, have a fetish of playing God (na...

Thought of the day - The smarter you are, the easier it is to come up with bullshit to avoid what makes you uncomfortable. Some of that is due to their ability to do mental gymnastics and get themselves out of any uncomfortable argument. Smartest people often struggle the most to resolve their emotional issues because they're busy outsmarting themselves rather than fixing the fucking issues - Mark Manson  P.S. The fault in our stars, beware if you're thinking you're outsmarting others, be careful that you're not only outsmarting yourself!  Solution: Aristotle wrote, "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." Being able to look at & evaluate different values without necessarily adopting them is perhaps the central skill required in changing one's own life in a meaningful way.

Note: This article is largely based on excerpt from Everything is F*cked by Mark Manson. The catharsis builds on the philosophical notion of nature of Values. READ more: For application and framework to finding out your personalised Values. Past a certain point, maturity has nothing to do with age. There are plenty of grown-ass children in the world. And there are a lot of aging adolescents. Hell, there are even some young adults out there. What matters are a person’s intentions.  The difference between a child, an adolescent, and an adult is not how old they are or what they do, but WHY they do something Wait I have a more basic question: How are values made, why do religions and cults share them, is it a spiritual thing or like a school thing?  Answer:  The process of forming values is complex and influenced by various factors. Life experiences play a significant role in shaping our values. Emotions, such as pleasure and pain, are generated through these experiences and...

Self-worth Is Contextual.  High and low self-worth appear different on the surface, but they are two sides of the same counterfeit coin. Because whether you feel as though you're better than the rest of the world or worse than the rest of the world, the same thing is true: you're imagining yourself as something special, something separate from the world. A person who believes he deserves special treatment because of how great he is isn't so different from someone who believes she deserves special treatment because of how shitty she is. Both are narcissistic. Both think they're special. Both think the world should make exceptions and cater to their values and feelings over others'. Narcissists will oscillate between feelings of superiority and inferiority. Either everyone loves them or everyone hates them. EVERYTHING IS AMAZING, or EVERYTHING IS FUCKED.  Mostly, narcissists are unbearable to be around. They make everything about them and demand that people around the...

I was discussing the ironies of human condition and related perils with my inner circle (conveniently). One of friends quoted a saying in Urdu, which loosely translates into "Wisdom is in limited supply and sacred generally, however, wise people are generally unsafe and probably endangered in an ‘ignorant’ surrounding" . We deliberated this for a while and concluded that – One of many subtle incivilities of our times is that: the rare bulb’s get hanged by the crowd of candles . N.B., We are going to push this BULB and CANDLE metaphor to the next level – so strap in your cord tightly! CANDLES are afraid of the light of the BULB – they do not know ‘WHY’ it shines so bright or powered differently or does not have to be sparked by a matchstick and has different thinking/beliefs to us. He is not enticed by the same thing, he is not afraid to shine alone and even if we ostracise him, he keeps shinning. Candles can easily join heads and continue the same bandwagon/following the floc...

Disclaimer: The purpose of this post is not to scorn or ostracise personality disorders. It is to develop a methodical understanding of presently available memoranda so we can cure ourselves from ourselves; through self-awareness, self-reflection and deep-rooted sense of finding something more important than ourselves! Also, this article is about people, irrespective of gender and nature of relationship (applicable for all personal dealings). Why write this article – well the people who have personality disorders, they feel pretty great but it's the ones who are around them, chose to love them, born with them or be with them, they're usually ‘miserable’. We all know that couple – who are picture perfect, say the right things, do the right things and take pictures at the right time etc etc – to later find out they had a topsy turvy relationship and it was all a façade, mere front with nothing tangible in it. A couple of months and sometimes even years later, it goes down in t...